eat us up, break us down to the tiniest cell
in our room with a view and a window to hell
ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
So, not much has been going on my way. I haven't written here in a little while. It most certainly wasn't from lack of want or ideas. I just found myself rather busy. You'll be proud to know that during my "No Facebook February" I did not log onto Facebook once, though tempted at times. Even with the abyss that is Facebook out of my life I found myself still pretty busy. It's amazing what I found to do with my time. For instance, reading. I read a lot. It was GREAT. I also worked a lot, hung out with friends a lot, and also spent time with my family...which is always great.
So, though I'm back on Facebook, I've decided to cut back my time spent there.
Which leads into this. I've been finding myself having to take a lot of my own advice lately. It sucks when it comes to that doesn't it? So here goes, I want to share this perspective with whoever reads this.
LET IT GO.
This is quite possibly the best thing you can do in your life. Is there someone you're mad at? Let it go. Did your best friend not call you? Let it go. Did your boyfriend cheat on you? Let it go. However, get the hell of dodge and never look back. Are people giving you weird stares and gossiping about which they know naught behind your little back? Let it go. It truly is their lack of attention that brings to them to this point anyway.
All through my church years when I was younger I always heard this saying from my elders, "Let go and let God." From the Beatles I heard, "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me...speaking words of wisdom 'Let it Be.'" I guess you can say that I never really knew how to grasp the concept of these words, that is, until the last year or so.
It boils down to this...when you're pissed/angry/upset/blahblahblah, who are you really hurting? The answer is quite simply...no one but yourself. Unfortunately it took the untimely death of my biological father and quite some time after, for me to forgive him for the wrongs that he committed. However, even when he was alive, it wasn't hurting him that I was mad at him. It didn't hurt him at all, and it most certainly can't hurt someone when they're dead. So, I learned, to relieve some of the madness, to have one less thing on my plate...I simply just had to stop being mad. Stop being upset. Forgive, forget and move on. Now, I'm not asking you to get yourself walked all over, but that's a different story altogether.
Trust me, I'm no holy guru on advice giving or kumbaya meetings. Take it as you will, but I'm telling you that those church ladies and the Beatles can't be wrong. At least not when they agree on something.
TOMATO, THE HUBS.
Tomato is great. I don't think I can really ever make you realize how wonderful it is to have your partner home after so many months of waiting. It's truly a feeling only felt.
We are know almost one month into our long distance relationship. It's been going pretty well. I mean, the night before he leaves all I want to do is lock the doors and bolt him to the house. Also, I can't' sleep the night he goes back for fear that something will happen to him. I almost fear something happening to him more now than I did when he was in Afghanistan. Silly right? No. People in cars are ignorant. Especially in precarious conditions.
We still continue to learn and grow in the slew of new situations we have been introduced to in these past two months.
For the good news: We are proud to say that we are FINALLY going on a cruise. If you remember correctly, the last time we attempted my dear husband was deployed and we had to cancel. The best thing about this cruise is....IT'S A DISNEY CRUISE! We were so lucky to get it the price we did. What better way to celebrate our anniversary? I mean, we went to DisneyWorld on our honeymoon. Just sayin'.
ZERO, THE DRAGON.
Zero is still getting a new dog. However, we have decided to change his name from "Cid" to "Alpha". I think it's actually going to be quite fitting. How much do you want to bet that Zero will roll over on his back the minute the new puppy gets here? Let's take bets.
In other news, Zero is still madly in love with his frisbee and has to be often reminded not to tear up my fresh out of hibernation...grass. That big dope.
A Letter I'll Never Send
(but will write here just in case)
I don't know you.
But, I wish I did.
Even if it was just to say "hey".
Even if it was just to know that you're part of life.
I bet you're a wonderful person.
I think it's a shame the forces that have prevented our interaction.
I don't need to be your best friend, or your friend at all.
I just want everything to be alright and fine.
I just want to be cordial and get a long for the sake of those that I love.
I know that it's strange to have me floating in the background.
I hope that my being here doesn't make you feel unwanted or unappreciated.
I'm sure I'm a confusing part of life.
I really hope that you will one day get to know my family the way I do.
They are an EXCELLENT group of individuals with a lot of love to give.
I mean, I really can't think of better.
Sincerely,
Me.
Song of the Day:
Ahh...men by Say Anything
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