People say that your dreams

are the only things that save ya.

Come on baby in our dreams,

we can live on misbehavior.

ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.

...is very obviously becoming a member of the living dead. I can't remember a time that I felt more tired, well in recent history. Don't think I've forgotten my last two years of college. I mean, I literally have giant bags under my eyes, breaking out like a teenager and practically moaning every time I walk. Work is great. It's been kind of stressful lately, not going to lie. I feel like I've been making a lot of novice mistakes lately and it's gotten to me. I went to my clinical mentor yesterday just to have a mental breakdown. She probably thinks I'm a crazy zombie too. I mean, novice mistakes...not life or death mistakes...but, it still gets to me. I can't really seem to wrap my crazy little head around it. LMC is great, the patients are about 234982340 times sicker than the ones at OMH could have ever dreamed of.

Since coming to work at LMC I've dealt, in the past month, more than I ever saw at OMH. I mean one day I'll have a patient with no IV access that needs a TLC because we can't gain it...with an extensive surgical/cardiac/GI history and a BGL of 20. In the next room, someone has bilateral effusions and needs bilateral chest tubes. That doesn't even include the....multiple traumas...devastating hemoglobin levels...tricyclic overdoses...dropped lungs...acute appys...massive GI bleeds....and RSIs. It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. I really wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned in leaps and bounds and am always grateful for an extremely approachable staff. I really couldn't have dreamed up better colleagues.

But, at the end of the day, I'm still a zombie.

I have had some quiet reprieve though, in the form of Molly...the Golden Retriever. I've been house sitting all week for Sarah and Ryan while they were on vacay in SoCal. I appreciate the McClanahan crib because it is one thing that my house is not...silent. Though, I must say...at night it got kind of creepy with all the house noises. That, and knowing that I was alone with the friendliest guard dog of all time.

Friday night I went and saw The Help with part of my ginger posse. It's always nice to see LA. It was a good movie and she cried like a baby. AND, yes, I did just post that on my blog. It was epic. It will also be forever relived in these words, and I'm not sorry.

Saturday...Saturday, oyeah! I had dinner with Mr. Dan. It's always good to have some father/daughter time.

Sunday, went to dinner with Rachel. I've been to dinner a lot, apparently. She's boss. I also proposed to her in Target. I'll have to explain that one to to Tomato in a little bit, I guess.

Monday...back to work.

Tuesday...back to work.

And now I sit here, with one capsule of Unisom dissolving in my belly. I'm bound and determined to sleep like a baby tonight. Bound and determined. Bring it on tomorrow!

TOMATO, THE HUBS.

...we've still been talking a lot about the future and our plans. It's just so hard to plan for anything concrete with so much uncertainty about what the next few years will bring.

We thrive off the few certainties that we have. Which, unfortunately, are not many.

We love each other and that will do. After all, that's the only thing that matters. I have come to realize how true this is with every day older I get.

Things are just that...things. Your heart is what makes you happy. When you're happy with yourself, the way you treat others and are in love...you can do and make it through...well, anything.

ZERO, THE DRAGON.

...had the best day ever on Saturday when I brought him over to Sarah and Ryan's to play with Molly. The played tuggy and ran around all night. Then, promptly passed out.

He's completely healed from surgery and you can't even tell it was done. Didn't phase him a bit. Let's just hope he doesn't get too fat.

Song of the Day

Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire