than beauty in a wicked world.
ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
...has had a stressful 24 hours, to say the least. Yesterday I took off to Carowinds with Becca, Bubba, Leah and Jonathan. For the most part, it was an exceptionally fun day full of loads of happiness. Then, as always, because things never happen according to plan. Disaster struck. Much like it always turns out, though I go out of my way, someone in my immediate biological family feels the need to remind me that I have had everything in my life handed to me. So, I spent much of my journey back to Columbia littered with tales of how I have no life experience, have no moral judgement, and for someone that has been to college "is so f******* stupid." Tales of how I left my old life to live with people who "feel sorry" for me. How no one loves me, they just feel like they have to. And, to take the cake, how I should gain another stretch marked fat roll. Beautiful isn't it?
I'm also well aware that I'm airing all my business onto a public forum. Thank God it's my business.
With that said, I think the best decision for me, is to leave this juncture of my life. Which, by default, means that I need to leave this certain person in my life. There is no way this relationship can be mended until this person grows up. I can't keep putting myself out there to be torn down. This sets the stage for much of what I endured in my childhood and I refuse to live through it in my adulthood. I should not have to defend the decisions I made. The decisions are what led me to where I am. I have an amazing life, an amazing husband and an amazing family. I've got no regrets about anything I've done, no regrets about the places I've been, or about the tears I've cried.
This, for now, just has to be a bridge burned. My future cannot suffer for the ignorance of others. I do not regret that decision, either.
Here are some pictures of the fun times, taken with my point and shoot.
Which brings me to Jonathan.
Words cannot express how much I love you. You really are an awesome kid. Yesterday I saw the true measure of your character. While everyone else rode the "big kid" rides, you were patient. That is a characteristic many adults do not possess. You watched and said, "that's awesome!" so many times my heart literally smiled. You were very polite and thanked me for "the best day ever!" about a hundred thousand times.
Don't ever let your hunger for adventure be squashed. Never let your circumstances hold you back. Don't ever give up and know that no matter what happens in life, your Aunt Ashley will always have your back. Don't waste life, live it. Stay focused, love your heart out and dream big. You can have everything and be anything in this world. Never let anyone tell you that you can't. You're an epic nephew. Really, you are.
TOMATO, THE HUBS.
...got to Skype again! FINALLY. It was so awesome to see his face. I can't believe how much I missed him. I was literally so happy I could have cried. The only thing better could be the warmth of him sitting beside me.
ZERO, THE DRAGON.
...has his big surgery today. I dropped him off at 0700 and picked him up around 1400. He was in pain and not himself. I could tell. His eyes were more droopy than normal and his tail, though wagging, was tucked between his legs. Now, instead of giant testicles he has a length of floppy skin. It's kind of gross, but the vet assures me that it will "shrink up" at bit. He's been sleeping most of the day.
The saddest thing though, is that he is waiting by the door to play frisbee, and he can't. I let him out and he just goes up to the frisbee, sticks it in his mouth and lays down beside it. Poor dude.
Take notice that one more of my "deployment goals" has been striked out. :) Sorry Z-man.
30 DAY PHOTO CHALLENGE
Day 30
(someone you miss)
Always, always.
Song of the Day
Soul Suckers by Amos Lee
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