Share with me

All of your pain,

I won't share your love,

I need all your love.

ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.

...is already failing at one of her goals, which is updating this blog at least three times a week. I guess I need to get better at that. I've been so consumed with work and with reading all these Harry Potter books again before the last movie debuts.

So, let's give a bit of an update. Shall we...

I started orienting to the unit at LMC and I'm literally almost overcome with tears at how relieved I am. I mean, this may die off...but, it's such a far cry from what I thought to be optimal. Everyone is so nice. I mean, it's completely unreal. Let's come back to planet earth for a moment. I'm not going to let myself run away with the idea that I won't come in contact with someone who's having a bad moment, but so far...so good. My first day, I was up to a full patient load. One of the nurses that I worked with yesterday said probably one of the nicest things I've ever heard. She was charting and I sat down to chart and she said, "I can tell you're something special already."

I've been thoroughly impressed with how approachable the physicians, educators, managers and other staff members have been. I mean, I'm sure one day there will be a qualm with someone, somewhere at sometime. It's all very legit though. I've got to say, my biggest fear about being a preceptee again was the thought of being babied. That hasn't happened, I've been blessed with competent and compassionate preceptors who show me the ropes. I must say, it's been quite enjoyable so far...right down the the multiple cafeteria venues. For the first time, in a long time...going to work doesn't make me anxious. I do, however, miss a lot of people I worked with at Onslow and wish they could be here with me.

Being home, has been great. I feel like I never left. It's scary though, to know that I'm not sure what the future holds for Tomato and I, as far as moving. I'm so comfortable here. North Carolina, altogether, feels like a fuzzy memory. You know that sinking, tingling feeling you get in your chest and stomach when you know you're not where you belong? I haven't had that feeling in a month. Even the air smells like home. I just wish Tomato were here, and then it would really be home.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I'm sure Tomato and I made the right choice in all this. Being here is the best thing we could have done for me.

TOMATO, THE HUBS.

Yesterday was the first time I haven't spoken to him since he's been gone. I mean, we emailed and such, but it was the first time I didn't hear his voice. I wish he were here. I miss him more than anything. Sometimes, I find myself crying because I just can't call him when I need to.

I talk about him all the time though. He's my hero. Not because he's in the Marine Corps, I could care less about that. Not that I don't admire his sacrifice. He's my hero because he is literally the best person I know. He's slow to anger, generous, selfless, polite and never had a harsh word to say to anyone. He spoils me, but not rotten! I just sometimes have to catch myself because I'm just so blessed that God sent him to my life. I mean, when and if Tomato and I have children...I pray that they are half of what he is.

Enough of that though, I got a little gushy there for a moment.

He got his Father's Day care package from Zero. Complete with two potted plants that his marines so carefully named Poppy and Mary Jane. I'm not even going to ponder on the reasoning behind those choices. He was glad to have it. Hopefully he'll be getting his Fourth of July care package soon.

ZERO, THE DRAGON.

...is, as always, enamored with the bulldogs. He's taken a special liking to PJ in particular. It's because they are probably the two most submissive dogs in the house. As I type this Dozer, PJ and Zero are at my feet snoozing. Zero's curled up into a tiny ball so he matches everyone else. He's been more snuggly toward me lately, but still loves to go into Mr. Dan and Ms. Linda's room every morning before I go to work. Mr. Dan even warned Ms. Linda not to get too close to Zero. Like that's even possible. He's the best dog ever.

However, he can be caught frequently at the backdoor begging to go out in the 100 degree weather challenging someone to frisbee. When no one goes out with him, he simply goes and gets the frisbee and proceeds to "try to pick it up" by digging and swishing around tons of dirt so that he looks like he's in a cloud of dust. I think he just likes the excuse to "dig."

30 DAY PHOTO CHALLENGE

Day 25

(a picture of your day)

My day has been dedicated to reading this book.

Song of the Day

People Say by Portugal, The Man